“Understanding is the reward of faith. Therefore, seek not to understand that you may believe, but believe that you may understand.”
I believe that God rushes to meet us when we move even one finger into this vulnerable place of not knowing. When you come to God humbly with your earnest questions, look out!—your life will change. It may not become full of answers, but it will become full of love.
Answers I may never have, but faith has been given to me in abundance, multiplied by grace that I could not conjure for myself. And Jesus is not afraid of my lack of faith. God is big enough to handle my anger, resentment, and self-pity; my Father is not put off by my doubts and fears and questions. What stifles my relationship with him more often than anything is my certainty.
I could tell you that I am certain that Jesus rose from the dead, but it is far more accurate to say that I believe that he did, and because he did, I have a perpetual invitation into divine life.
Certainty requires proof, but faith requires love above all else. Certainty resides solely in the mind, but belief resides in the mind and heart. Certainty lives on intellect alone, but belief lives through a greater commitment, a greater sacrifice—it lives through my flesh-and-blood heart.
I could bring my mind to the Resurrection—and certainly, I do; faith and reason are not opposed to each other. But resurrection means nothing if I check my heart at the door.
——from May Crowning, Mass, and Merton And Other Reasons I Love Being Catholic by Liz Kelly, #49 – Easter